MY WEDNESDAY NIGHT

And the girl came crying down the hallway, at first to say that she it was not her house, and then to say that she had been invited by the person whose house it was, and behind her was a man who was hurriedly pulling on his pants and fumbling hard with his button fly. The man spoke then: “Who are you?” he said. “My brother Dillard owns this place. He’s the one who invited us. He’s in Antibes and we’re housesitting, if you must know.” I told him that I knew that his brother was in Antibes. “Oh,” he said, “cool, cool, cool. Are you in his band?” He turned to the girl. “He has a band. You knew that, right? Fan Base it’s called. He used to have one called Sneak Attack. That was mostly a solo project. Fan Base is a true band, a four-piece. Dillard sings. I’ll bet this guy plays guitar.” That’s when I took my hand out of my jacket and showed him the gun. After that there was no talk of either band. He just brought me to the safe and then let me lock the two of them in the bedroom. From behind the door I heard the girl. “Fan Base?” she said, voice rising into fury. “Fan Fucking Base?” So, that. 

©2022 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas

WAITING FOR GODOT DELUXE ACTION FIGURES

The wait is over! Didi, Gogo, Pozzo, Lucky, and the Boy are here in a set of 3.75” vinyl figures, complete with special accessories and a playset complete with country road, stone, and tree!

• Vladimir - The larger of the two tramps, Vladimir—or Didi—mostly stands, keeps his eyes to the sky, and muses on unknowable philosophical questions. He is never far away from his friend and companion, Estragon, who he has traveled with for a half-century. 

• Estragon – Estragon, nicknamed Gogo, is slighter than Didi. He sits down on the stone repeatedly, where he laments his aches and pains and fiddles with his boots. Gogo’s mind may be fading. He seems to have been a poet earlier in life, which accounts for the shabbiness of his clothing.

• Pozzo – A rich man with a pipe, Pozzo is on his way to sell his manservant, Lucky. He eats chicken greedily and throws the bones to the ground.

• Lucky – Tethered to Pozzo by a long rope, Lucky follows along behind his master, erupting only once for a lengthy monologue. The figure speaks this monologue when a button on the forehead is pressed. 

• Boy – The boy works for Godot. His appearances are brief and he ends them by running away. The figure’s legs are articulated to permit this motion. 

Accessories: Two (2) pairs of interchangeable arms for Didi. Two (2) pairs of interchangeable arms for Gogo. Two (2) bowler hats. Four (4) boots. One (1) rope. One (1) pipe. Six (6) chicken bones.

©2022 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas

A PERSONAL EVOLUTION

In 1992, just two years after Montalvo’s birth, Erich Riemenschneider’s hypercolor t-shirt business hit a rough patch and he was convinced to move to Los Angeles by his cousin Maxwell, who had opened a barbecue establishment there and was looking to expand to another location. Maxwell Riemenschneider, the oldest of the nine siblings, had always had a lucky hand in business, unlike Erich and Horst. Erich arrived in late summer and, by November, was a central part of Maxwell’s operation, designing a mascot (“Phil, the Half-Eaten Pig,” a merrily grotesque cartoon character), developing promotions, even appearing on local radio and television to talk up the restaurant, which had started life as Max Meats but had been renamed The Boneyard. Local fame agreed with Erich, who soon changed his own name as well and became Rick Rock. 

©2022 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas