No day is quite as pleasing as the day that gives you the opportunity to create discomfort for the people you despise. Pound them on the back like friends but don’t let up until they feel a flicker of fear that the thumps are coming too fast and too hard. Buy a present for them and put it in matte black wrapping paper. Call them and then, when they answer, immediately say “Hold on a second” and then scream bloody murder at someone in the background, not a real person, but an idea real enough to deserve the cruelest words at the highest volume. If capable of that, what else? These are the obvious options, the utensils within reach. But sometimes that discomfort can take the form of thoughts. Eventually those thoughts will infiltrate and infect those who are despised, but the joy comes in their creation, when those thoughts power up in the mind, batteries throwing off electrons, hot rocks, propelling the moment through the otherwise unremarkable sea of time.
©2021 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas
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