The cops were outside. A dun van was idling. “It’s been here all day,” a woman said, “and I don’t see any sign of a driver.” A second woman embarked upon a terrible list: could be a jealous husband surveilling his wife, a shooter lying in wait, the driver could be dead in the back from a heart attack. A female cop rapped on the window. No answer. A male cop knocked on the door. The two women escalated: maybe it’s terrorists, the entire van weaponized, a bomb. “Dirty,” one woman murmured. The back door opened to gasps. A young man stumbled out, blinking against the light. “These people don’t want you parking here,” said the cop who had rapped on the window. The young man nodded, walked around to the driver’s side, got into the van, sped away. “Great police work,” the second woman said. The cop started to thank her but she interrupted. “I was being sarcastic,” she said. “You never heard of asking a question? What if this same van turns up across town tomorrow? Don’t you think it would be better to have at least gotten an explanation?” The cop began to respond, was interrupted again. “This was terrible,” she said. “Amateurish.” She waved her hand to dismiss the police. “Let’s just be thankful it was nothing.”
©2021 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas
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