They were going around the table, as per the protocol for the summit, saying hello, introducing themselves (by first name only), naming the city where they were born and their first pet. “It’s like this entire weekend is a long con meant to steal passwords,” said Robert, Chicago, Jaws. A woman across the table from him (Elaine, Chesterfield, Mitten) laughed. Then came the meat of it: each of them had to relate their greatest disappointment. They were, for the most part, heartfelt but predictable: divorces, bankruptcy, a lack of courage in a professional context that led to be stranded in the middle of a corporate lake without the will to swim to shore. Robert named his divorce as well. He had loved Sandra more than she had loved him but he had done less to show it. He was not surprised that she had cheated on him. He was surprised that she had filed. He kicked himself weekly for not fighting harder to keep the marriage. A respectful pause followed his presentation. His insincerity during introductions paradoxically worked to produce additional significance for his confession. The man to his right cleared his throat. Elmer, New York City, Golly. Most of the attendees warmed up on their way into their sad tales: “What disappointed me most? Well…,” “When I think of disappointment…” “I’ve gotten perspective on this in the years since, but…” Not Elmer. He charged right in. “When Arlo Guthrie converted,” he said. Robert tried to laugh but heard himself crying instead.
©2020 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas
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