Dear Sir, I have been trying with no success for the past four months to obtain the address or phone number of “Alexandra Influenza,” whose real name I do not know. Just yesterday I noted that you have booked her to appear at your theater and reprise one of her most popular routines, which involves acrobatics while dressed as what she calls a “firebird” but is more accurately described as an angel dressed tightly in red and orange. Are you perhaps able to advise me how I might be I contact with her? I am presently setting my lands in order, having received a grim diagnosis from a doctor who I cannot imagine is deceiving me, and I should like to at least meet Alexandra Influenza and explain to her that in years where I did not think living worthwhile, she made me feel more alive than nearly anything else, and that I imagine she will have a similar capacity for inspiration as I stare headlong into the Final Bottomless. Thank you.
©2020 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas
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