HANDSOMELY BOUND

“Ana’s Thoughts” for this new year records that over the course of the past twelve months, twenty-three new beliefs were created while six beliefs became extinct. Twenty-one persistent observations that sprang up during January were still considered valid by year’s end, and fifty-one recurring phrases were added to the roll of reflexive responses. The honor of easy access to complex concepts was conferred in seventy-four instances, and 358 other abstractions came to reside in the mind in a more diffuse form, familiar enough to be referred to in shorthand if not fully grasped. Some twenty-three incidences of deja vu were added to the space between memory and experience, bringing the total up to 309. The list of thoughts includes one moment of true spiritual transport triggered by migraine, twenty-three paradoxes, forty-four shallow intellectual assumptions, sixty-two cases of extreme anxiety, and 201 incidences of physical ecstasy, brought into being by self or others, that temporary obliterated all other thoughts. Other customary features of the publication remain in place for this year’s edition, including a photo gallery of all the people Ana could not immediately recognize, a list of malapropisms, and a comprehensive log of her dreams. The volume has been handsomely bound in leather.

©2020 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas