By Ben Greenman
from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled
“One of the principals in the gold shoe frauds,” was the police reference to Nicholas Bennett, lately a cameraman for the network sitcom “A Bit Wishy-Washy,” who was charged at Superior Court yesterday with robbery, to which he pleaded guilty, at Olive Avenue. Detective C.T.L. Bryant stated that when prisoner was arrested his car was searched. Seventy-one pairs of sneakers, previously white, now bearing a gold patina intended to be understood as real gold plating, were found. There were besides Certificates of Goldenness, forged letters from satisfied customers, more than a hundred empty cans of gold spray paint, as many full, and a box of silver shoelaces. Each pair of shoes bore a handwritten price tag that said “Gold Shoes, $1000.” A handwriting expert immediately confirmed the script as Bennett’s own by focusing on loops and ligatures.
Prisoner was remanded to a state-run facility for a ten-month community-service program. “A Bit Wishy-Washy,” now in its fourth season, follows the lives of the owners of a large self-service laundry and its regular customers, many of whom are eccentric.
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