AN ILLUMINATED PORTRAIT

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

The tallest man in town is kindly lending his town house next Friday afternoon for the presentation to Penny Jee of an illuminated portrait of herself and a check for an undisclosed amount (though said to be upwards of ten thousand dollars) in recognition of the services that this talented young lady has rendered to the town. It was Jee who, with her ex-husband Randall, founded a company to translate between the town’s government and its large and vibrant Korean community. For more than three years, since Randall ended the marriage and left town — he had a fantasy of being a magician, one that he is still pursuing, performing up and down the coast as “Randy the Incredible” — she has served as a one-woman news service, delivering updates on everything from property taxes to new residential construction to environmental regulations. As she is fond of saying, “I could publish a newspaper, but it is far easier just to talk, record it, and distribute my updates through various platforms and networks for people who need to hear them.” She usually follows this by quickly conceding that “this is not exactly a catchy slogan, but it’s the truth, and the truth always catches on.” Jee’s health has been for some short time in a precarious condition, having strained her voice through overwork and then suffered severe secondary anxiety over the fate of her only vital instrument. “Randy the Incredible” appears at TideTown Theater next Wednesday, debuting a new nutrition-themed show entitled “Pick a Carb, Any Carb.”