EARLY WARNING SYSTEM

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

More than a million men and women in this country, some studies have estimated, have have been separated from their shadows and are unable any longer to consider themselves as true corporeal beings. If the law would permit optical technology to construct new artificial shadows and attach them to the afflicted, it is believed that at least half could learn once again to see themselves as part of reality. The reform, therefore, that is being advocated by the artificial shadow industry, though with strong support from mental health professionals as well as other, less predictable corners—children’s safety advocates, for example, who warn that the absence of shadows can substantially disrupt the system by which children sense the approach of others—is a national as well as a personal question. Rattall, which often gives a lead to the state, which in turn gives a lead to the country, has just passed a resolution in favor of it. Dr. Steven Patrick, best known for his pioneering work with hearing implants, in an interview yesterday on the need for the the reform, emphasized the public-safety aspect of the action: “Most people don’t even know how much they use their own shadow during everyday activities. When you’re walking, your eye flicks over there and subconsciously checks its shape and contours. That’s your early warning system for rough terrain, or a slight slope of the sidewalk. We have seen an alarming increase in twisted ankles and injured toes. This has all the earmarks of the beginning of an epidemic. And that’s on top of the depression, the nightmares, the thoughts of self-harm that accompany shadowlessness. To not address it with all the technology at our disposal is simply irresponsible.”