By Ben Greenman
from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled
A pack of children hauled away and peppered with dodge balls the television reporter Derrick O’Halloran during a school play in which O’Halloran, sent to cover the event, was overheard loudly mocking the performance of the lead, Lucy Watson. “Derrick has a slight bruise on his right forearm from falling,” said Hannah Raposo, an associate producer, as she described how more than a dozen fourth graders approached O’Halloran toward the end of the first act. “The Watson girl was playing a detective, and for some reason he took an instant dislike to her. He started mimicking her lisp and the way she walked when she was holding a magnifying glass. He was even calling her ‘Sherlock Dope.’” Parents in the area attempted to quiet O’Halloran, explaining that Lucy was very shy and had made her debut only after extensive encouragement from her classmates, but he persisted, and that’s when the children took action. “They made a ring around him and then closed in. They shoved him around a little bit and ripped off his credential. He was saying ‘Press, press.’ Then they forced him into the gym, and that’s when they all went for dodge balls. Derrick mostly tried to protect his face.” The children, including Lucy’s twin Annie Watson, her best friend Georgia Rigoberto, and Elaine Weinstock, were taken to the main office for questioning. They were released a half hour later, after the principal interviewed Raposo and determined that O’Halloran had it coming.
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