“Welcome.” The voice on the recording was, as always, calm. “Today we are going to look into how to change your attitude. Perhaps you woke up today aggravated. Perhaps the world seems…incorrect.” Ellis nodded. “Yes,” the recording said, as if it had seen him nod. “Here is what needs to be done. While you are speaking, pause mid-word. Pick a longer word to make this easier. During that pause, imagine that you are not yourself, but someone else. Maybe you are the grocery check-out clerk who is going too slowly. Maybe you are the man behind you who is grumbling aloud what you are only thinking. Maybe you are your daughter, convinced that your rules are too restrictive. Maybe you are your wife, disconcerted about the leveling off of your libido. Maybe you are a man in an elevator in a Hong Kong office building, ascending to a meeting that you suspect may be a corporate massacre. Maybe you are a woman on a street in San Antonio, trying to find your runaway daughter. The pronouns may not be instructing you properly, so let me clarify. Within your mind, get our of your mind. Truly and fully inhabit another perspective. If you cannot think of another one, use mine. Maybe you are me, in a giant mansion, luxury cars in my driveway, horses stabled, wives and mistresses in various rooms nearby, but unable to avail myself of any of it because I am trapped here, making this tape for you.” The tone was no longer calm. “Damn you!” the voice said. The tape switched off. Ellis, refreshed, stood.
©2020 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas
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