They placated me. The man who patted me on the back until I could breathe right gave some money. “When it’s gone,” he said, and then winked in a way that led me to understand that there was more where that came from. Behind him on the wall were pictures of various animals. “Pick one,” he said. Ordinarily I would not have taken his suggestion, but he had been so kind to me. I perused the pictures. The dog was mangy. The snake was flaking all along its underside. The bird, labelled “potoo,” was entirely terrifying. I selected the hippopotamus. “The man folded his fingers wisely into a tent. “Good, good,” he said. “Your choice of animal is a type of code. It tells me how you will live and, more importantly, how you will die.” He handed me a brochure, along with some more money. “It’s all in here,” he said. I took it, suddenly filled with regret that I had not chosen the bird.
©2020 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas
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