People kept getting up from the couch with a vertical energy that suggested that they wanted to leave not just the party but the earth. Walter wondered why until he turned and saw what was on the TV—the video of his wedding to Doreen. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened during the ceremony, the introduction of the couple, the reception line. But then there was a purling in the rear of the room, and the crowd turned to face a man dressed entirely as a circus clown. “Doreen,” the clown called out, “Doreen!” “It’s her father,” a man close to the microphone had said. But it was not. It was her ex-husband Gerald, come to claim her back. He juggled a trio of wine glasses. He danced slap-shoe. He blew up a balloon and squeaked out a poodle. “He has to go,” said the man on the microphone. But Doreen was tipsy and forgiving. She danced with Gerald and then, when he took a knee, put on the wig and nose that he offered. When she began to laugh, it was not a shock to anyone. When it became clear that she was laughing not at Gerald but at Walter, the shock settled upon Walter, and the consternated crowd ate hors d’oeuvres as if their lives depended on it. Doreen left with Gerald that night. By now, the two of them had been remarried for more than a year. Walter could not understand why he had kept the video.
©2020 Ben Greenman/Stupid Ideas
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