ACCELERATED ESCALATORS

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

How many people have been started in this minuscule town in the southern part of the state and afterwards removed to the big city for exploit and eminence? The most famous was Teddy Kenner, who, under the name of “Theo Kenner,” was transplanted up to the metropolis, where he served as mayor for a record six terms. Maddie Peters, the proprietor of the Hawk’s Perch on the ninety-first floor of the Silvertone Tower, was originally Margaret Peters, the daughter of a fitfully successful spinach farmer, and Casey Martin, the most venerable stage actor at the Brougham Playhouse, esteemed both for his classical work (his Coriolanus was said to be “the equal of Olivier’s in both intensity and precision”) and his experimental ambitions (he wrote and starred in Tell Me Where It Hurts, a “space farce for nudes and robots” that “peels away the hypocrisy of modern capitalism in a series of monologues performed on accelerated escalators”), started life as Ace, the friendliest bag boy at Fowler’s Market. Seventy-one babies were born in Scots Hollow last year. Expect acclaim for a dozen at least.