THE ONLY CONSTANT

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

Military leaders are about to eliminate the phrase “accidental death” and to substitute the phrase “collateral damage” in all official documents, records, and correspondences, along with eliminating the word “old” and substituting the phrase “getting on in years,” eliminating the word “overweight” and substituting the phrase “horizontally challenged,” eliminating the phrase “punched in the face” and substituting the phrase “ordered a knuckle sandwich,” and finally eliminating the word “bald” and substituting the phrase “moon landing.”