SIMPLY WANTED TO OUTLINE

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

What has to be done to restore general mental health in the region is complex, but one part of the equation is clear: residents must be protected from those forces that would exasperate them by emphasizing and even intensifying distractions.  The governor is doing nothing to help matters, and in fact it can be argued with some degree of persuasion that he is a direct threat to the equanimity of others. This past Tuesday, in a speech before the state’s business leaders, he moved from one topic to the next in such a rapid and bewildering manner that it was almost as if he was trying to upend his listeners’ minds. A summary of the main points of his speech will suffice to illustrate: after starting with an announcement that dressed poultry will now be subject to slightly more stringent refrigeration standards, he moved to the next topic without prelude or context, noting that a historic three-masted full-rigged ship named the Temerity will be sailed back to the yard where it was built and converted into a museum. And then it was off to the races, one subject succeeding the next relentlessly: thieves breached the security system at  Hollander Park and stole six medals, including a Legion of Merit and a Silver Star; Ambrose Brookmire’s new restaurant on the pier, AB Sea, was damaged over the weekend by a blaze that could be seen for miles; the zoo has a new baby kangaroo; rising butter prices are a source of concern;  Roberta’s not coming back. This last bit of news, of course, is of relevance mostly to the governor, who has been coping with the dissolution of his marriage since early summer, and who has several times paused mid-speech to canvass the crowd and see if she is in attendance. She has not yet been. Following the speech, some stood to ask questions, and at least two prominent members of the audience, including the warehouse magnate Arthur Swecey, accused the governor of placing his own personal needs before that of the state, particularly where mental health resulting from sustained focus was concerned, and speculated that the governor’s hostility toward the peace of mind of others was a direct result of his own disarranged emotional state. The governor shook his head and reiterated that Roberta’s not coming back. By early evening, a spokesperson for the governor had issued a sharp denial: “He simply wanted to outline the various issues and challenges currently facing the state.” The same spokesperson added that the Temerity will be free to all school-age children until the end of the year.