By Ben Greenman
from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled
A fraudster was nabbed in a swell manner at Haddon Heights. He was Lee Harper, 72, who introduced himself around town as a photographer working on a series of portraits of the most beautiful people in the state. He called up Jessica Loos, the owner of the Tumbledown Diner, and represented that he had heard from several of the town’s most reliable citizens that the series would not be complete without the inclusion of her picture. He then asked Ms. Loos if she would like to pay a small deposit to guarantee her place in a book that would collect the show’s best images. He fully expected the volume to be a brisk seller and explained further that in exchange for her deposit she would in fact be a part owner of the entire project, entitled to a portion of the profits from the book or any other products that followed. But Loos had heard of the man, and in the time between his call and his arrival she contacted the police, with the result that a detective, crouched behind the lunch counter, heard the whole of Harper’s offer. “I can’t believe this ended so soon,” Harper said when the detective emerged from his spot. “This was only my second stop.” Harper denied that his camera was not loaded with film, and added that Loos was in fact breathtaking.
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