GRASPING HER CANE

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

The scalding at Cap’s Deli last Sunday, in which a soup bowl placed on the edge of a table teetered and fell, spilling into the laps of two diners, had its sequel in the drugstore yesterday, when Jack Natick, the man who ordered the soup and was then burned by it, accused Herschel Davis, a longtime waiter at Cap’s, of delivering it to the table in a reckless manner. Evidence cited by Natick centered on his claim that Davis approached the table at a dangerous speed, more a run than a walk, and that he appeared unsteady on his feet. Marianne Halvorson, Natick’s only dining companion that night and the second victim of the soup—the other two chairs at the table were empty—was also with Natick at the drugstore, and she corroborated this account, noting that she saw Davis coming toward the table, the white cloth tucked into his hip swinging from side to side, and remembered nothing more. Davis offered an alternative version of events, explaining that he had, out of the corner of his eye, noticed an elderly woman at a nearby table pushing her chair back, and that he had stepped lively to avoid her. As a result, Davis attested, he was pushed slightly out of his planned path, and when he put the soup in front of Natick, he deposited it too close to the edge. Even then, the bowl would not have toppled had it not been for the same elderly woman, who struggled to her feet and, grasping her cane, moved toward the door, in the process jostling one of the empty chairs, which in turn destabilized the soup and sent it over the edge. The statement was supported by Shirley, Davis’s wife of forty years, who had not been at Cap’s that night but insisted that a half-century of close observation of a single individual afforded her insight not available to the average person. When pressed, both Natick and Halvorson conceded that scalding was perhaps an exaggeration, and that the main problem was the stain on Natick’s skirt, which would have been worse if the soup in question had been tomato soup or borscht, but that thankfully Jack was a chicken noodle guy. Davis offered to cover the cost of Natick and Halvorson’s drugstore purchases, which consisted of batteries, eye drops, granola bars, and condoms, and the entire incident was laid to rest.