QUICKLY FEARED WEAPON

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

On the 14th of January the beautiful city of Alms was nearly destroyed. The Stuck Fox, a sailboat laden with more than five thousand pounds of gunpowder, was en route from Filleted Lace, destined for Spoolfleece, when it took fire in the neck of Dagger Canal and exploded, leveling all the buildings in the vicinity and bringing to an early end the lives of some sixty Almstowners. Nearly every structure along the canal’s edge was set fire, and of some seventy-five lavishly appointed mannequins in a warehouse belonging to the T. Tears House of Fur And Leather, five or six only are said to have been saved. One was appointed in a black suede cap and white fleece vest destined for the famous actress and hometown heroine Margaret Kiley, who was intended to have been on site at the time of the accident but whose train in from Earshot the night before was unaccountably cancelled. Mr. Tears has pledged to deliver it to Kiley, even as he is confronted with the overwhelming task of rebuilding his business and his life. “She needed a look for the awards show,” he said. “We are all pulling for her.” Kiley, upon learning of the devastation, sent her best from the set of her most recent motion picture, Quickly Feared Weapon. Of the Stuck Fox, not a single atom remains.