BEEZO AND THE BEAR

An adventitious foray into the woods by the famed actor Beezo Borgenson resulted in an altercation with a bear that started as bickering but escalated into a brawl. It should be noted that it was not an actual bear but a man in a bear costume who was, like Borgenson, appearing in the new film Masha and the Forest, an adaptation of the well-known fairy tale, and who had also been Borgenson’s co-star in two previous films, the farce Blind Man Boy and the police drama No Coming Back. The man in the bear costume, Peter Vodkin, had the previous day buttonholed Borgenson on set to praise the film’s director (who had not been Bordenson’s first choice) while at the same time withholding praise from the script (which Borgenson had written) and then, having built a head of steam, fulminating against the entire project of sanitizing a vital Russian work for a mainstream American audience. “This work is vital to my people, to my country,” said Vodkin, according to other actors present. “I thought you were born in San Jose,” Borgenson replied. The next day, Borgenson decided to take a morning hike, and told the crew that he would be back before ten. Vodkin took the opportunity to put on his bear costume and hurry to the first clearing on the path, where he stationed himself and waited for Borgenson. The actor arrived. The bear confronted him. Neither man disputes that. There is some confusion over who threw the first punch, but by the time Richard Ulrich and Ron Blatt, a married couple who co-own a dental practice, came upon the clearing, Borgenson and the bear were rolling around on the ground, shouting insults at one another. Ulrich, recognizing immediately that the bear was a costume, rushed to separate the two combatants, while Blatt, fully believing the bear was real, shrieked and ran in the other direction. The film shoot resumed as scheduled the following morning. Early reports suggest that Vodkin’s performance may earn him a major acting award, and certainly a nomination. 

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