PRIZED HARDTOP

By Ben Greenman

from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled

We have on good authority who it is who has been contemning regular parishioners, speaking derisively of everything from their modest dress to their prayerful tones to their thoroughgoing commitment to charity. Gregor, the man who lives directly across the street from the church, has assumed the broad responsibility of calling into question the character of anyone demonstrating devoutness, as illustrated by his remarks that faith is “a boil that must be lanced, and if the lance is fashioned from a bitterness that comes from seeing the world as it truly is, so be it.” Gregor mostly stands in his garage next to his prized 1961 300G hardtop, wearing the suit he used to wear to work, scowling and shaking his head. Those few brave churchgoers who have crossed the street sometimes hear him talking on the phone to someone they believe to be an ex-wife, attempting to forestall her from picking up the rest of her clothes and reminding her that she has to bring the dog over to see him at least once a week as per court order. Demands are being made for him to move.