By Ben Greenman
from forthcoming collection, as yet untitled
A talking dog, a stranger to the area, was found yesterday crushed absolutely flat beneath a track asphalt paver, whose weight was in excess of fifteen tons, at Huntington. To the pleasant surprise of everyone responding to the call, the dog was discovered to be the star of a children’s television cartoon, Captain Barker’s Amazing Adventures In Art, and thus accustomed to being flat. He peeled himself up to full height and left without acrimony or recrimination, even treating the driver of the machine to a cheerful rendition of his trademark song: “When a dog draws / With his front paws / It’s the main cause / Of all the applause.” How he found himself beneath the paver in the first place was not adequately explained, and Captain Barker seemed to be in no hurry to discuss it.
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